Why I Left

For those of you who come here regularly, hope to have Thursday Poem Share back up after New Year’s! Happy Holidays!

July 4th 2007 was my first day of “independence.” By this I mean I left my full-time office job of 9 years and became a graduate student, house wife, and writer. I left that job for many reasons, but mostly it came down to three things: 1 – commute 2 – type of work I was doing 3 – discomfort with at least one fellow employee.

5 and a 1/2 years later I find myself not working full-time again and my reasons don’t seem too dissimilar although the commute issue wasn’t as bad this semester as it was last fall when I was driving to Salisbury everyday. As I go back to look at my posts from the last five years it does sadden me a bit that I’m still posting about wanting to lose weight
otherwise I’m pleased with the progress I’ve made in listening to myself regarding the “career” bits of my life.

After I left my old non-teaching job I focused on school, writing, and my house for two years. I’ve actually self-published two essays on this site about whether or not I wanted to teach composition versus waiting around to see if any creative writing teaching opportunities appeared (Modern Grammar and Higher Education). I’m going to weave these two essays into my presentation for AWP in March: Stranger in a Strange Land? The Poet in the Composition Classroom. The second deals more with what it was like once I finally went into the composition classroom as an adjunct. I was an adjunct for a year before I went full-time. I, of course, posted a blog after my first year of full-time teaching as well.

Even as I wrote that blog and took the summer off I wondered about going back to full-time teaching. I was, however, excited about my new schedule, with people who had moved into new leadership roles around the college, and with ideas I had for restructuring my classes.

I went back, but the semester was rough for me on many fronts. Life outside of school through a lot in my path as well. The workload was wearing me down like a piece of paper folded and folded again. My father passing away was sort of the final crease. I needed to take some time to help my family, and to find myself again.

I’m not sure where my path will take me next. I’m focusing on freelance editing and teaching, but I’m not opposed to maybe picking up a class or two at one of the local colleges or universities if I’m needed. I’m not sure if my spouse and I will ever be mobile enough for me to look at some of the bigger creative writing schools so I can only hope (for now) that I can find a way to fit into the academic and literary community in my area. I have dreams about what that could be like so for now I’ll dream away.

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18 thoughts on “Why I Left

  1. I know what you mean. I too feel like a piece of paper folded and folded again. Like the others have said, take courage and keep on going.

  2. Jessie – Give yourself time to absorb your difficult year and be kind to yourself. I think sometimes we focus too much on what is not perfect in our everyday lives. Instead, think about all you are able to accomplish – write, edit a magazine, teach – and the things that do make you happy. Ideally, we would all be able to support ourselves doing exactly what we love, but that is often unrealistic. Being a public school teacher for over 20 years, I love my middle school kids, but there are certainly days when being retired and writing full-time seem a far away dream. Keep dreaming and give yourself permission to be happy where you are right now. Happy New Year!

    • Bless you teaching middle school! I subbed for middle school briefly. Whew. I have considered going back to doing some sub work as well. I work hard to stay on the positive side of things. Like this morning I’d like to focus more on the fact that I got to sleep in rather than the sore throat. LOL :)

    • I do have to be careful! One of my issues that came up at work was a few times when I did vent I found that the person I vented to went and told other people. Ugh! I hate not being able to trust people!!

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