I’m going to do something a little bit different for Thursday poem share this week, and no I’m not going to do my year end wrap up. I’ll still probably do that tomorrow and then look forward on January 2nd. Procrastinating already? Perhaps.
But instead of posting a poem here I’d love for you guys to stop by Blogging Along Tobacco Road where a poem and a picture of mine are up.
And below, I am going to post another poem in progress. Or actually, this is a poem I wrote when I was working on The Wait of Atom but it didn’t make it into the final manuscript. I’m trying to decide if I can salvage it. Help is appreciated!
[thanks for all the comments! time to revise!]
We host a fondue get together for family on New Year’s Eve so need to make the final prep for that and hopefully I’ll have time to come back and post tomorrow as a regular Friday Wrap-Up. We shall See!
Hope you guys have a fun and safe holiday. Remember, Designated Driver’s are awesome and feel free to post and/or link to your own poems below.
Best wishes!
when unknown in multiple choice it is always C.
i think i always went for b
42 epitomizes what I love most about poetry: It touches on every aspect of life. It’s especially awesome when right and left brain come together through the marriage of science and literature. Romantics like Shelley and Wordsworth married science with poetry. 42 gives me hope for a revival.
Thanks Tel! I love pulling from the world around me to write poems and lately I have had a fascination with trying to use poetry to understand science. I was not a science and math kid but I want to understand it better so I keep trying!
The first letter of every line should be capitalized.
Be more descriptive, you are giving me no visual in your poem.
You sound like you just copied the text from wikapedia.
42
On the Periodic Table
Is Molybdenum
A super expensive element
That it isn’t even found free in nature
Sorry but there is nothing there that is gripping, but a textbook definition mixed with a few lines of your own words, which has no passion for writing, no feeling.
Very dry!
Kevin B. Wright
Poet, Author
Kevin,
Thanks for stopping by. Any particular reason you want the first letter of each line capitalized? Most literary magazines and books of poetry that I read do not do so and I’ve even been strongly admonished by an editor before NOT to do that.
I actually didn’t use any specific lines from Wikipedia or anything so hmm…they are my words..sorry if they aren’t gripping. Any suggestions on what you would do if you were revising, besides the capitalization as you noted?
Thanks for your input.
probably a nitrogen problem.
ignore it , maybe it will go away.
if not try some Molybdenum
in the morining.
hair of the dog you know
it is a good poem.
Thanks
I know it may need some work that’s why I ask for help
You’re welcome! Capitalizing the first letter is the proper and traditional way of formating your verses. It goes back to 13th century Petrarch, to Byron, Emily Dickinson, etc. Today poets, editors, publishers are ripping Poetry up by it’s roots but are still forgetting where it came from.
As for my comment about Wikipedia was mataphorically speaking! As in sounds like a dictionary, textbook, etc.
Anyway, What I would do? is stick with your idea but not be so direct, cause poetry’s key is symbolic complexity (imagery) You are writing straight through like dialouge, as if you are just speaking or teaching.
You are not giving the reader a vision, you want to make them wonder what were you thinking when you wrote this image. Paint a picture for them, they have to think about, an image that can mean 100 things but still mean that 1 thing you had in mind. Thats what will keep the readers interest and make your poem pop!
Write it without division, give yourself more freedom. When you’re writing prose you have that option.
Yes your poem is good, and maybe i was a little rough with my words, but i’m sure you want to hear an honest opinion than false praise. You do have a nice way with words. but if you just write with out description and visuals it will be bland.
as in star/what type of star/ an earth treading star/ what is the star doing/sparkling in its planetary light/
descriptive and a visual
If you do that with your words in that poem you are going to fine! there is so much to work with in that poem about science.
Well i hope that was helpful!
Thanks for stopping by. Any particular reason you want the first letter of each line capitalized? Most literary magazines and books of poetry that I read do not do so and I’ve even been strongly admonished by an editor before NOT to do that.
I actually didn’t use any specific lines from Wikipedia or anything so hmm…they are my words..sorry if they aren’t gripping. Any suggestions on what you would do if you were revising, besides the capitalization as you noted?
Thanks for your input.
Interesting. I do agree that imagery is important to poetry but sometimes there is room for just the words to stand on their own, for them to create their own imagery. If that makes sense. It is getting late and I may have had too much fondue
I am going for a more scientific sounding wording in this poem but I also want to balance that with a bit more of the poetic as I did with my scientifically based chapbook “The Wait of Atom.”
Considering perhaps putting it into form…decisions.
Have a happy new year!
Please do excuse my typos, I know I have many. I was typing fast and had alot to write, as you can see.
Well keep in touch and Happy New Years!
Kevin.
Happy New Year to you. It is good to write different things everyday, even poems. Love it. Keep up the good work.
Thanks! I agree. If I didn’t do some form of writing, even blogging each day I feel lost!
Jessi,
This poem is great. I liked it a lot on first reading. I liked it even better on second reading and better still after looking up Molybdenum in Wikipedia. Which is to say, it works well even if the reader knows nothing about Molybdenum going in and then becomes an even richer poem after the reader does a little research. And the poem motivated me to go get more information.
Include this in your upcoming book or submit it around — it deserves a wider audience.
If I can get it revised to a point where I really like it then I want to include it in a 2nd manuscript I’m working on called “Ology” which looks at science with poetry but not in the same way that “The Wait of Atom” does, the science is more central to the poem.
Thanks Eric
Pingback: Science & Literature « A 1,000 Voices
Pingback: Friday Wrap-Up: Year in Review « Jessie Carty